


I Barked Back

by hazeleyeswhitegirl



Category: TRICKSTER - 江戸川乱歩「少年探偵団」より | Trickster: From Edogawa Ranpo's "The Boy Detectives Club" (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Gen, Humor, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-18 00:48:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9356132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazeleyeswhitegirl/pseuds/hazeleyeswhitegirl
Summary: Twenty Faces leads his mother on a string of lies, leading to an awkward and ridiculous phone call.Alternate universe, one-shot written for fun.





	

So this is a long one. It is actually a story about 9 months in the making. For some background, I am a single man in my late-twenties and I recently moved into a large city to work at my dream job. The job is irrelevant to the story, also privacy concerns and all. Anyway, at this new job, I meet the man of my dreams. Tall, long brown wavy hair, gorgeous brown eyes, funny, extremely skilled at his job. He is the whole package. I should also mention that I have a pretty close relationship with my mother. I am her only child and she dotes on me even more than she should. Understandably, she is anxious about me moving so far away and calls me almost every day. On one of these calls, she found out about my not-so-small crush and convinced me to ask him out. So, I eventually did.

This is when disaster struck. I was rejected. Though he did it in the nicest way possible, so I can’t really blame him. I can only blame myself when, later that night, I told my mom he actually accepted. She sounded so excited for me, I didn’t want to let her down. This was my first lie.

A smart person would’ve recovered from the first lie by saying it didn’t work out after a few dates. But I didn’t do that. Apparently, I am not as smart as I think I am. I continued my horrible lie for 6 months. I told my mother about nonexistent dream dates, sent her pictures of him, told her how happy I was. It was going surprisingly well, until my birthday.

My mother calls me the night of my birthday. I had told her my nonexistent boyfriend was taking me on a picnic during the day.

“How was the picnic?” my mother asked.

“Oh it was great, mom! I had so much fun!” I gushed. Little did she know I had spent the whole day on the couch eating chocolate cake and watching Netflix.

“So, what did he get you as a present?” my mother asked teasingly.

Crap. I hadn’t thought my plan through this far. I quickly tried to come up with something and ended up telling her he bought me a puppy.

“He got me a Shih Tzu puppy mom. Just like I always wanted! She’s the cutest thing!”

“Awww that’s adorable!” My mom loves dogs. “I thought your apartment didn’t allow pets though? You couldn’t get that kitten when you first moved in.”

“Oh, they changed the rules mom. A lot of people complained. So now they’re allowing small animals.” Nope. All lies. My apartment building doesn’t even allow goldfish.

“Oh that’s good to hear! So what did you name her?”

“Uh umm…” I looked around my small studio and my eyes settled on the vase of daisies on the kitchenette counter. “Daisy. Yeah, I named her Daisy.”

“What a beautiful name! Let me talk to Daisy!”

“What?!”

“Let me talk to Daisy. Put her on the phone with me.”

This was just something my mom would do. She speaks to her numerous pets all the time. What did I expect?

“What are you waiting for? Come on!” my mom urged me from the other side of the phone.

“Um, okay, wait I’ll get her now.” I rushed to my desk, opening my laptop. I’ll just go on YouTube and find a video of a Shih Tzu barking. And I’ll play that for her. It’ll be fine.

Except it wasn’t. I couldn’t load the website on my slower than a snail internet. When it finally loaded, I couldn’t even type right, my mother’s cries from the phone making it worse. “How the hell do you spell Shih Tzu!” I thought to myself as I once again failed to type the right word. I finally found an acceptable video and as soon as clicked on it, my laptop’s battery died.

Cursing my inability to keep my electronics charged, I picked up my phone again. “Sorry, mom, she’s not in a chatty mood.”

“Oh nonsense! I will talk to her!” And my mother started barking. Really barking, on the phone, to my nonexistent dog named Daisy.

At this point, I had lost all respect for myself. I started barking back.

My mother and I barked back and forth for what seemed like forever, before I stopped her by saying it was late and Daisy’s barking would bother the neighbors. I then said good night to my mother and ended the call, only feeling shame in my heart.

Now, I have a nonexistent dog on top of a nonexistent boyfriend and I have dug myself into such a deep hole of lies, I can reach the Earth’s core. I don’t know what to do.

TL; DR I was rejected by my attractive coworker, told my mom he accepted and pretended to date him for 6 months. I then pretended he bought me a puppy for my birthday and when my mom asked to talk to the dog, barked back and forth on the phone with her.


End file.
